DBZ Outside the Set 3
by Saiyan
Summary: Have you ever wanted to find out what your favorite DBZ characters do when they’re not saving the world? Well here’s yet another chance. I take you the reader on a tour of the DBZ world.


**DBZ Outside the Set 3**  
**By Saiyan**   
  
  
"Once again we're on our way to the DBZ universe to see what they do when there aren't any villains" I say as we vanish   
We appear at a carnival where Bardock is standing behind a 'Guess Your Weight' game and has a big red mark that completely covers his left cheek. A young girl about 16 years old walks over to him and pays two dollars.   
"You weigh 120 pounds" Bardock says   
"Wrong! 97 pounds" The girl replies   
"Please step on the scale" Bardock says   
The girl steps on the scale. The scale reads 120 pounds.   
"I HATE YOU!!" The girl yells as she slaps Bardock hard across his left cheek and storms off   
"I knew I should have become a fortune teller or something" Bardock says depressed   
"Now let's go see what Fat Buu is doing" I say   
We vanish and appear inside a house.   
"So what do you guys wanna do?" Fat Buu asks   
"Hey, what about that thing that's always on TV?" Janemba asks   
"Yea! That would be so cool" Dodoria replies   
"Ok, everyone get to a phone" Fat Buu says   
Everyone grabs a different phone. Fat Buu calls them.   
"WWAAAAASSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!" they all say   
I sweatdrop.   
"That is one of the most idiotic things that has ever been considered cool since the early nineties, let's go see what someone else is doing" I say   
We vanish and appear in a house.   
"OOOOUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Raditz yells   
Raditz throws down his hair brush defeatedly.   
"I'm never going to get all these tangles out" Raditz says sadly   
"Well at least you've got hair, I've gotta buff my head every morning! Do you know how much that hurts!?" Nappa says   
"Enough of this shit" I say as we vanish again   
We appear inside a psychiatrists office.   
"Well doc I just don't know how I can do it without being looked down upon" Recoom says   
"Well Recoom, many people these days are very accepting of gays so I don't think you have to worry about that" the psychiatrist replies   
"Oh, so you mean I should just ask Burter out?" Recoom asks   
"Eww that's just plain weird" I say as we vanish again   
We appear in a music store.   
"This is a very ancient flute, I can't sell it for more than $5000" Tapion says   
"I'll pay $5" a little kid replies   
"Fine" Tapion says defeatedly as he gives his flute to the little kid   
"YEA NOW I CAN TAKE IT HOME AND BREAK IT TO PIECES!!" the little kid says happily   
"I really wish I wasn't so short on cash" Tapion says sadly   
"Damn what a waste, his flute was pretty cool too, but enough of watching Tapion wallow in self-pitty let's go somewhere else" I say as we vanish   
We appear in someone's backyard. I look around and notice it's a little kids birthday party.   
"What the hell are we doing here?" I ask   
"Here comes the birthday clown Joey" a mother said   
19 rides a unicycle out in front of a bunch of little kids and begins juggling pies. The little kids laugh and clap as 19 throws the pies in the air and they land on his face.   
"Um, damn I'm glad there weren't any clowns at my birthday parties when I was a kid" I say as we vanish   
We appear inside a giant palace.   
"Damn this place is huge!" I say   
"Please just give me a little more time" Emperor Pilaf begs to the person over the phone   
"I'll let you spend a night with Agent Mai" Emperor Pilaf offers   
Emperor Pilaf hangs up.   
"What did they say Emperor" Chu asks   
"They're repossessing my palace, damnit I really wish 19 hadn't stolen all my clients" Pilaf says through clenched teeth   
"I should have known he got all his money by being a birthday clown, after all his clothes are a dead giveaway" I say as we vanish   
We appear inside a dojo.   
"For the fifth time Billy it's done like this" Yajirobe says as he picks up a sword   
Yajirobe jumps at a giant Oozaru Vegeta statue with a tail made from some sort of cloth and cuts it off.   
"Alright everyone, that's all for today, remember to practice your swordsmanship, especially you Billy" Yajirobe says   
"Well at least Yajirobe isn't teaching a class about how to get girls" I say as we vanish   
We appear in a top secret military facility.   
"Who would be here?" I ask   
Just then a general starts walking down the hall really fast with someone else.   
"The alien creature was found on top of some sort of spaceship hovering above Earth" the other guy says as he presses a button and a wall lifts up revealing a thick sheet of glass with Dende trapped on the other side of it.   
"Please let me out! I'm supposed to be guarding Earth, I'm not here to hurt you!" Dende pleads   
The guy presses the button again and the wall closes.   
"At least the press won't find out about this, after all Area 51 doesn't exist" the general says with a smile   
"Wow, I feel sort of sorry for Dende but at the same time he can't REALLY protect Earth from ANYTHING so he's useless" I say as we vanish   
We appear in Bulma's mother's garden.   
"EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!! DIE BUG DIE!!!" Bulma's mother says as she sprays a giant bug that was eating her flowers with bug killing spray   
Cell falls off her flowers and dies.   
"Damn I can't believe someone didn't think of that during the Cell Saga" I say as we vanish   
We appear inside the freakshow car of a carnival.   
"And now ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes on the one, the only, the amazing Manfish Man!" the ringleader says as he pulls the curtain back from the cage.   
"I'LL KILL YOU ALL YOU BASTARDS!!!" Kui yells from inside   
A little girl walks up to Kui. Kui stops yelling and just looks down at the little girl.   
"HE TOUCHED ME IN MY PRIVATE PLACE!!!" the girl yells as she points at Kui   
"NNNNOOOOOOOO!! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! YOU WERE ALL STANDING RIGHT HERE I'M INNOC.." Kui began but the crowd ripped the cage open and began beating him   
"It's pretty safe to say they'll be eating fish tonight" I say as we vanish   
We appear inside a movie set.   
"Ok get Arnold's double on the set!" a director yells   
Android 16 walks out.   
"Ok, this is the part where my character gets thrown out a window, try to look scared" Arnold Schwartzinegger says   
(A/N I have no idea how his name is spelled but you can probably guess who I'm talking about)   
"Ok" 16 replies   
"ACTION!" the director yells   
A guy grabs 16 by his shirt and the back of his pants and tries to throw him out a window but he can't lift him up.   
"CUT! You need to lose some weight guy!" the director says   
"I can't, I'm an android" 16 says   
"Well, then maybe you need to visit a mechanic to get rid of unnecessary weight" the director says   
"Screw that, I'm not getting rid of any of my arm missiles or my other cool weapons" 16 says as he storms out of the set   
"Finally someone who isn't willing to look like an anorexic to be in show business" I say as we vanish again   
We appear inside a barber shop.   
"Ok, just make it look cool, I got a date with Jennifer Love Hewett tonight" East Kaioshin says   
The barber runs a comb through East Kaioshin's hair.   
"That'll be fifteen dollars sir" the barber says   
East Kaioshin pays him.   
"Ok, enough of this, I think I'll just transport you home before you have a mental breakdown and start doing that 'Wassup' thing with Fat Buu and the other idiots" I say as I transport you home   
  
The End 


End file.
